Wedding date set - Sept 13, 2007

Was suppose to have my actual day on 29th November 2007 but grandpa passed away and
my actual wedding date is set on September 13, 2007 (Thursday) - in Jakarta Indonesia. (due to the 100 days chinese custom)
taking my wedding photos on 28th June 2007 (thursday)

Got engaged on 16th March 2007 (Friday)
Started my relationship with Halim on 4th May 2006

Magazines all say every bride should enjoy their wedding preparation, but i feel different. I feel many obstacles in my wedding preparation.

Is it a sign? or it is just pure concidence.

Lets hope my wedding goes smoothly and i have a wedding that I dream off. Friends to be around, to give me a great atmosphere and every guest comments that my wedding is one of the best they attended.

great pictures taken, my sisters and brothers really build the fun on the time when halim come to pick me up. But somehow i feel, things won't turn out right.

Then I keep on telling myself now, it is Ok, just have it simple. everything would be OK. just look at it optimisticly. As long as halim is around you then it would be fine. For god sake, it is just only a wedding. no big deal, why make the fuss on others and act so petty about it? i mean, u don't want to say things and then somone tell u <" since u so smart, u do it yourself la...">

sometimes i feel my wedding is a failure. or it is going to be a failure. my family members are so busy and in difficult situations. Don't know how my AD make up and hairstlye would be. My wedding photos would be done in a rush as time issue. My wedding dress would be whatever is available on the rack and what i want they may not have.

my wedding room is done as simple as possible as it won't be the place I be. THe wedding card I always wanted may not occur.

Time is an issue
Family members is an issue
Friends is an issue

Oh.. i feel so bitter. So bitter that I am getting married in 100 days in such a rush
And telling myself simple would do. Simple is good. Simple is nice. Simple is the right choice to make as that is all u can do.

my once fairytale wedding is just a simple ordinary wedding. But yet, wedding is a ceremony where 2 people join, why make the whole big fuss... why so show off, why so demanding. Yes, i should be optimistic that I found someone that love me, but then...but then.....

lets hope my next post update on my wedding preparation would be something more