17 November 05

Melbourne oh my melbourne. It is warm and hot today but I am stuck in the office.

Today I have Korean for lunch alone. Sitting in a corner wating for my Korean bento box. This time i was smart and brought a magazine alone. But as i was not reading, I was givin myself some reflection. Lunch have 2 main version (exclude those that eat at their desk at work)

Version A- everywhere in the street you get to see someone sitting in a corner with a book, muching off their wholemeal bread or rolls. In restaurants, you get to see someone sitting there alone wandering around to amuze themselves while waiting for their food to arrive.

version B - you will see someone else with a partner talking and having their lunch. Some with books, some with folders and some with wine.

Yesterday i too had korean bento box for lunch with my mate. As we in the version of B, we were talking about mid 20s little simple life. After work we just want to go home. We always ask others what u doing afer work, as if we were energetic to go for a run or a climb the mountain, but when time gets close to 5, we can feel the tiredness hitting in. During dinner time, we don't know what to talk about to our friends, it seems the topic we can bring up are so limited. But yet silence during the dinner table seems rude. In that, we would like to have a partner to just have dinner with but yet no need to speak. Then go home and rest.

Companionship. Someone to do things with or to talk to or to listen to. As I scroll through my phonebook via mobile today, I realise I got more international numbers than local numbers. I find there is only so limited friends I could call out to have lunches with. Of course with my still studing friends, this woud not occur. They are in their holidays and you can see the huge difference.

I am not being a pessimistic eventhough it seems like i am on when i write my blogs. In real life, these are the issues and topics some ppl go through each day. Not to say if u think optimisticly, u feel better. But thats lying to youself for you didn't really find a real solution to it.

As I was enjoying my MacDonalds 50cents sundae, i felt really good. Extemely good. Once again, I enjoy the independence I have built over these years. I enjoy the feeling knowing that I no longer think about others. I enjoy knowing I found something that encourage me to move on and to remind me of how to enjoy life.

Melbourne oh Melbourne. It has been 6 years. The weather, the people, the culture, the slang, the sports, the alcohol, the wackyness of nights, the security, the tax system, the pubs, the clubs, the restaurant, the chinatown, the suburbs, the shopping, the events, the celebration and to conclude, THE PEOPLE once again

THank you to all the people I know. Thank you for your friendship and help for all these years. Thank you for the pain and disapointment. Thank you for the betrayals and back-stabbing. Thank you for all teachings and reminders. Without them, I would not have learnt.

For some nationalities, permanent residency to them is the only way to have a better life. But to me, it is just an opportunity for me to explore a different nation. a different culture.

Recently heard that a few of my friends are going through a cross path phase. Whether to go back to their home country (where they born) or to take up PR and work here. If they ask me, I will say this: Ask yourself, what is the reason you want PR for?! Just because others have it and u want it. Or is it you think it is something good to have jsut incase the home country goes crazy? A PR Application cost nearly $3000 which isn't say a huge sum, but with a Terms of staying 2 out of 5 years will kick you in reality.

Good Luck girls in finding the path that suits you. Eventhough u are in a intersection. Remember there isn't a Right nor Wrong path. Any path would give you something, happy or sad memories, it still gives you a learning curve experience.

Crystal is my commitment. She is my everything. Eventhough with her, my choices and flexibility are restrain, but to think abt it, I never regreted having her. Her love and affection to me is priceless. Extremely uncomparable. To accept me, you need to accept her first. Again, to accept a path, you need to accept you faith first. For it would give you uncomparable support and courage.